The CDC and Zombies

[Tyamius, Shadow Lord]

news.yahoo.com/s/ac/20110518/us_ac/8495307_cdc_recommends_preparing_for_all_disasters__even_zombies

So after hearing all this stuff about Rapture being tomorrow and the end of world. The CDC brings up my favorite subject in the entire world...the Zombie Apocalypse!

[The Tomato]

Another rapture tomorow? I might have to miss out on this one since i have a test to study for.

Oh well, there is always 23/12-12

[Psychichobo]

Why zombies? I don't get how a rapture would make zombies. Maybe some people try clawing their way out of hell? Pff. Who knows...

[Hellbreaker]

Meh, I couldn't really care less. The world is on the brink of destruction every other week or so anyhow.

I wouldn't mind if the world actually did end, just so I wouldn't have to hear, see or read any more "OMG world ends XX/XX-XXXX due to Y because Z omgomgomgomogmogomgomogomogomogom herp derp"-things.

[Loplod]

I don't even listen to this stuff but from glimpses I have heard its based off the bibile or something?

It states in the bible "No man shall know when the end time is" - thus if you are in a state of panic you are stupid.

[robomummy]

It's some guy who tells people that the rapture will happen tommarrow. He actually predicted the end of the world awhile ago and....well...... were still here.

Also here is a quote from the article-

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

-note: read the last line.

[Major Chrispy]

Hey at least if its a zombie apocolypse, I'll be able to let out that extra agitation In zombie face beating time

[Tyamius, Shadow Lord]

I don't believe in the rapture end of the world bull (please do not swear) but I would love to have a zombie apoc.

[yoritomo]

What happened was people complained about the CDC's message. People were saying that the CDC says the same things over and over again. So instead of saying "this is how you prepare for a hurricane" they decided to do how to prepare for zombies. And guess what? It turns out that you prepare for most disastersmin the same way. So by getting people to prepare foe a zombie apocalypse the are also getting people to prepare for tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes, and whatever else comes up.

It's not a bad idea. I'm glad someone in our government has a sense of humor.

[Hyper Kinetic]

Agreed.
The amusing thing is that this has probably generated enough publicity to get people thinking about all other disasters and their own disaster preparation... so it probably has helped as much, if not more, as the regular usual messages that come across yearly.

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I have written a small 1000 word essay on why the Zombie Apocalypse is a good thing (note that this is a direct hack'n'slap from a blog i posted on and so there may be formatting errors)

For starters, it gives you additional preparation for other, more trivial, disasters. Major Earthquakes, Floods, Fire-Of-London and Bad Disaster Movie style events can all be accounted for in your Zombie Apocalypse plan, for nothing takes quite as much preparation as your plans to survive the unending hordes of the dead. Not only do you have to have an escape plan (useful for all disasters) and additional food supplies (useful for longer term disasters), you also know what to do when some one or some people decide to begin trouble down a dark alley.

In order to be prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse, you need to be fit. Let's face it, a quick and easy meal is the food of choice for pretty much all of the mindless people/zombies out there. Therefore, you must make yourself a hard meal for the zombies. The easiest way to do that is to be faster than your soon-to-be dead associates. Taking up a sport will put you in good stead for when the time comes. You don't necessarily have to be a world class athlete either, just being faster than the slowest person is enough to save your skin (and brains). Not are you only just improving your overall fitness levels, and so quality of life, you are giving yourself a tremendous advantage over other people in the Apocalypse.


Sports that focus on hitting, such as Hockey, Tennis and Cricket, will also give you additional training in use of blunt instruments.


Those of you with siblings probably already have a headstart too as there were countless hours of “play” fighting that should come in useful. You never know when a kick to the head that removes teeth will come in handy. I know I have trained for that.


Team Sports can focus on team work with people. It is essential that, when everything goes to hell, you know you can trust your partners.

If all else fails some sneaky tricks, like tripping over your associates, may give you those vital few seconds that can make the difference between you becoming a zombie or not be coming a zombie. Anyone who has played sports where there were prats on the opposition, or those who had siblings, will know how to apply such a manoeuvre and it can greatly increase your chance of survival.


Some of you may already be learning how to deal with zombies in their day-to-day life, and this is a brilliant thing. I know that there are a solid portion of people within this town that already show zombie-fever-like symptoms:
- Lethargy
- Inability to think or move quick
- Stupidity
- Desire to inflict pain and suffering on those around them
- Inability to take care of themselves.

Identifying these symptoms in people will allow you to know who is infected and who is not. Don't let differential diagnosis, like Alcohol Intoxication or mental retardation, fool you – many people are already infected and it is just a matter of time before they go berserk. By recognising these symptoms, and more, you can make yourself aware of how likely the Zombie Apocalypse will happen within the next week and take further precautions as necessary.


Some preparation for the undead hordes may include purchase of otherwise innocuous equipment. Such things as Samurai swords and bamboo fencing are not only useful in the Apocalypse, but can substantially increase the value of a room or home.


Now, to the benefits to be had mid- and post- Apocalypse.
We all know that people are constantly worried about job security. Well, you won't be worried about that during the apocalypse. In fact, you are guaranteed employment during and after the Apocalypse. It will be easy to change jobs too. No longer will you be bored in an office somewhere. One day you could be a major general organising a mass movement of troops through hostile territory, the next you might be the manager of a construction site. The day after you could be head chef of your own restaurant and the day after that you might be a lone philosopher or a medical doctor. With such a wide array potential job choices, it's hard to see why people could think that the Zombie Apocalypse will be a bad thing for the working person.
And job satisfaction is always high whilst working through an Apocalypse because nothing says job satisfaction like the phrase “I am glad I am alive today.”


After the decay of bodies has been complete, a process that may not take all that long in some areas, the air quality should be vastly improved. There will be very little pollution from vehicle emissions, so even big cities will see the smog start to clear after a week or so.


Land will be dirt cheap during and after an apocalypse. In fact, the only places that will still be in high demand, and so therefore high price, during an Apocalypse will be the Supermarket, Fuel Stations (for a little bit anyway), the Hospitals, Boats and the Pubs. Everywhere else will be basically free once you get the squatters off the territory. Just think... you could be living in a mansion by the seaside once this all blows over!


I am sure that there are many other benefits to the Zombie Apocalypse that I have not thought of, so add some of your own tips and thoughts to the comments.