The 40K Improv Cafe

[gloriousbattle]

Anybody up for some 40K Improv? Not exactly rpging, but closer to that than anything else.

We all take it in turn to write a story. The trick to Improv is to agree with all that has gone before.

The rules:

1. No nullification of past events. I.e., no "Boy, what a weird hallucination that was. Well, back to what's REALLY going on".

2. You cannot add more than a single element to each post, whether a new character, a plot twist or an object.

3. No sexual or bathroom humor, or anything else offensive (in the ANGLO SAXON PURITAN SENSE OF THE WORD) that would put off other players. If you want to play it immature ("suddenly, five orks eteleported in, and started sodomizing the Inquisitor") start your own

4. You have to let at least three other people post before you can add in another post.

5. Most posts should be between one and two paragraphs long.

I'll start, and see if anyone is on board.

[gloriousbattle]

The Navigator took another pull from his lho pipe and checked the screens. It took him a moment to focus as he did. His reflexes were slowing, and his brain was numbing down. But that was to be expected. He had been at this for thirty five hours straight, without sleep, a meal, or even a break to stretch. Emperor, he was tired.

Even before his three eyes focused, of course, he knew what he would see. The damned thing was still behind him. And it was gaining. Saints of the Imperium, IT WAS GAINING! The Navigator wasn't a warp enginseer, of course, but he knew his job. He had navigated through warp storms and piloted past Chaos-charged meteor showered. He had outrun pirates when he could, and fought and destroyed them when he couldn't. He had seen this tin bucket through seventeen years in space, and he knew what it could do. But he had no idea what THAT thing could do. How could it be GAINING?

[webimpulse]

In his sleep deprivation, the Navigator suddenly had a crazy idea. Perhaps this thing, whatever it was, would go zipping past his ship if he just took the time to slow down instead of outrunning it for 35 hours straight. Perhaps upon zipping past whatever this thing is would simply lose track upon passing. Well, it was either that or exhaust the ship's engines and be stranded in Warp Space.

Easing up on the throttle had the opposite effect of what was intended, though, much to the Navigator's chagrin. Instead of zipping past and losing the tail, the thing instead slowed down with him and pulled alongside his ship. And it was then that the Navigator realized what was going on, much to his horror...

The ship had the emblem of the Ork tribe known as the Speed Freakz, who lived one quarter-mile at a time...or one quarter-parsec at a time in this case of Warp Space! The Navigator got a transmission:

"Puny human! You ship iz fast, but nothing beats us! We demands a race!"

((How was that? Did I follow the guidelines? ))

[gloriousbattle]

OOC: Very cool. Let's see who else joins in.

[Silence]

(First time I've done something like this, go easy, 'kay?)

The Navigator's three eyes opened wide, the Iho stick dropping from it's hold in his lips. He focused on the ship, devouring the sight of the thing before desperately sending his aide to the Captain. Trying to exit the warp in a system he recognised, he punched in some more speed in an effort to change direction and lose the Ork ship. Full aware of the dangers of this, he uttered words that felt right to him, in the moment.

"We pray for those lost in the warp..."

The ork vessel took some time to turn and one of it's engines spluttered and choked. The navigator spied remnants of numerous vessels inside, some lost since long before he was even born and others more recent. True, the outline of an Astartes vessel was seen in the mashed up space hulk. He gulped, swearing that the Precious Cargo would reach it's destination.

[gloriousbattle]

OOC: Quite cool!

[w00teldar]

(so we can only be the navigator?)
The Navigator started to sweat as the massive space hulk came about, and he realised that the idiot orks never shut off their vox-link. Rowdy screaming could be heard, followed by a long series of booming noises. another voice could be heard, this one human. "This is Captain Galenus of the Ultramarines 5th company...."

[gloriousbattle]

OOC: You can be anybody you want. You just can't add it a whole bunch of elements at once.

The captain surveyed his position. It was not good. He had only a bare twenty terminators when he entered the space hulk, and he had about half that now. His heroes slaughtered the orks by the dozens, but their numbers seemed inexhaustible. They had recovered the Construct (whatever it was. Galenus knew only that it was in a small stasis box, which it was not his job to open) as ordered. But this would mean little now that their transport ship had been destroyed.

"Tech Marine Justinianus, get me a scan of that ship, damn you! I don't know how many more assaults we can withstand!" On cue he parried the looming blade of a rather large ork and took it's head off. They were piled beneath him now, but his arm was growing tired.

[Esiphas]

ooc- im gonna be an ork for this post.

ic-Warboss Knucklebuster the intoxicated roared at the space marine captain. He Charged up his powa klaw and rushed headlong into the fighting, swtting an ork nob aside. he swung a downwards punch at the space marine, who barely dodged. the klaw blades impaled a terminator instead, holding a heavy flamer. Knuckleduster flung the lifeless supersoldier into another terminato, pinning it down for the moment. he turned to face the captain again, putting a few bullets into the fallen terminators for hgood measure. 'You iz a strong 'un aintcha? well letz see ow you do when your opponentz are bigga than you! hur hur hur.'

[eetdestroyer]

Techmarine Justinainus focused on the tangled mess of wires and screens in front of him, trying to ignore the whileing battle behind him. His servo arm gripped a rusted pipe and with a hiss of hydraulics pulled it aside. By the glint in his bionic eye he knew that he had found the live wires he was looking for. After a few frenzied seconds at the computer controls the great bulkhead doors beside him rumbled into life.
"Captain!" he roared over the din, "It's open! Let's fall back and get a channel open!" Captain Galenus pulled his blood-slicked power sword out of the ork brute's head and ordered the retreat. Slowly the terminators moved into the next chamber, laying down a steady torent of suppressing fire.

As the great doors hissed to a close the ruckuss of the orks quitened to a distant roar.
"Captain, we can get a signal out, and from the look of my scanner, we're recieving another imperial signal" Justinainus said, regaining his breath.

OOC: It's good to see some good quality story telling on the boards again rather than another 'make your space marine' 'IMMA FIREIN MA LAZOR!!' game (admittedly i've made a few before but let's try to move on ) good going gloriusbattle \m/

[Esiphas]

ooc- sorry to post again, but im not adding to the story. Im just noticing a slight breach of the guidelines, i think. eetdestroyer, the space marine captain just killed an Ork Warboss in one stab. A regular ork i can inderstand, but a warboss? evn with a powersword to the face, a good boss would fight on, especially a speed freak, who usually have mecahnical bits to keep them in the fighting (and the racing) Apologys if i'm misinterpretating anything.

[Silence]

OOC - I agree, as Orks can survive pretty much anything, including the removal of the ork itself. They're frikkin' badass. I'd add something else to the fighting, but I believe the Navigator is a bit lonely...Sorry it's short, a little tired right now. I'll add to it later if you like. Also, does this count as adding two things? Sorry if it does.- End of OOC

The Navigator exited the warp, breathing a sigh of relief. His glasses splintered as he collapsed forward onto the floor in exhaustion. With the Navigator unconcious, leaving the ship incapable of warp travel and with little defences in an unknown system.

Meanwhile, the Orks swarmed over their vessel to get toward the umiez in a great mob, with little coherency, if any. Many mauled each other in an attempt to get to the front, tearing up the corridors with great speed. Wozzat looked up from the gubbinz he was holding for the Mekaniak, seeing that both the Mek was gone and he was about to be trampled under foot. Numerous grotz scattered, but the occasional snotling was reduced to bootprints under the ork charge.

[gloriousbattle]

OOC: We'll ease up on the rule of two or three paragraphs, as we seem to have some good writers here. However, remember that the main thing is to follow what others have done, and see where it takes you. Please continue to limit your writing to one additional element.

It had been a Devilz own battle, and the marines had lost much, but they had survived and recovered their objective. Now the marines had docked with the freighter, though the orks still scrambled at the bulkheads.

That wasn't good. Right now their close assault weapons couldn't penetrate, but it would get a lot worse when they brought up their heavy stuff.

So thought Tech Marine Justinianus as he pushed his way through his brethren to where the Captain half-crouched in the medical bay. He had slain orks like a hero, and now a hero's reward was his, as his left leg and most of his intestine had been cloven away. He would last only a little longer. Marines were tough, but no one was that tough.

The Tech Marine drew himself to attention to make his report, but Captain Galenus shook his head. "At ease, Tech Marine,"he said, spitting blood as he did so, "these will be my last orders."

"You are the highest ranker the cmpany has remaining. I hereby grant you a field promotion to lieutenant. I place you in charge of our brothers, and of this."

Here, the Captain placed the small box into his hands. The newly commissioned officer looked at it. It was small, and looked to have been cut from some rough metal, but it felt smooth, and oddly cold to the touch.

The Captain gasped, and spouted blood again. "There is an Inquisitor, Thraan Thaken. This must be taken to him. He has the reputation of a madman and a renegade, but he may be alll that can save the Imperium. You can find him at... G-g-gnyuuuhhh..."

With that, the Captain breathed his last, and Lieutenant Justinianus closed the old warrior's eyelids for the final time.

[Hyper Kinetic]

Justinianus looked again at the offering given to him by the now deceased Captain. The box, still remaining unheated by the limited warmth of his still human hands, had a slight shimmer. It was barely perceptible, even to the augmented eye of an experienced Techmarine, but it was there was a definite glow. He turned it around several times, exploring the surface of this curiosity for many seconds, making mental and computational notes about its structure and minutiae. This would have to wait for further analysis, however, as there were more pressing tasks at hand.
Justinianus looked down the medical bay at the battered remnants of the marine force. It was a rare, nearly inconceivable and unparalleled, honour for a Techmarine to be bestowed with the privilege with any true leadership within a Space Marine unit... let alone an entire company. Many feared the technical enhancements that a Techmarine adorned themselves. The general aloof nature of the Adeptus Mechanicus caused great unease amongst even the sturdiest of warriors. Though respected due to their ability to repair the mechanisations of battle needed by the Imperium to stage war, the scions of Mars were held at great distance from some of the more central rituals and secrets of the higher commands despite usually being able to access such secrets with ease through their direct communication with the machine systems. Some even believed the worshipping of the Machine God as an equal of, or even greater than, the Emperor as abject heresy.
Justinianus used one of his hulking Servo-Arms, giant multi-purpose claws designed to move heavy pieces of metal and machinery, to delicately pick up the box out of his human hands and started to make his way towards the ship's bridge.
Yes, he thought, there is much to be done.

[Esiphas]

meanwilst, far behind the space marines vessel, A shadow loomed up in the warp. A giant space huk, crashing through the immateium. The ork hulk, which was going slower now that their warboss was dead, was completely dwarfed by the ship. Deep inside the main engine room, one lone man, in the armour of the ultramarines but clearly not one of them. He toiled and toiled. As he turned, he clutched the left side of his face. It was a face of horor- blighted and twisted. A Tyranid Prime stood guard over him. The psychic creature poke to the tainted man. 'Is it ready yet?' The man hised an answer. 'Yesssss My Massstersss. It issss Done' he hld up a strange device. On it was a display screen, showing the exact location of the ultramarines ship.