I waited too long

[ninjadude]

I was this close... this close to making a move on her... and then some idiot, womanizer snipes me. I got to know her really well over the course of a year or two and I really thought it would end perfectly. I guess not. Should I give up on her? My first impression of this guy is that he keeps picking up girls and then dropping them, but I'm not so sure.

[Geneva]

If he's as much of a jerk as you let on then the relationship probably won't last long. I wouldn't lose hope if I were you.

[zombiedalmations]

no no no no giving up.

if you've waited on her this long, waiting a little longer shouldn't be all too hard. try toughening it out, man, i know it wont be easy watching her with this guy, and you don't have to like him (but by no means hate him), but the fact is she's taken right now.

anyway, if you're there for her when (if) they break up, she'll be thankful. anyway, as long as you're waiting for her, it'll be alright.

something i've learned is to never like a girl because you need love. like a girl because you legitimately care about her. Basically, do it for her, not you. The situation's not about you, it's about her, and if she's happy, it's good, if she gets her heart broken, help her be happy again. but never ever ever give up on something as precious as love.

best of blessings for you

[Helonion]

Oct 26, 2010 17:31:52 GMT ninjadude said:

I was this close... this close to making a move on her... and then some idiot, womanizer snipes me. I got to know her really well over the course of a year or two and I really thought it would end perfectly. I guess not. Should I give up on her? My first impression of this guy is that he keeps picking up girls and then dropping them, but I'm not so sure.

Ya it sucks some guy beat you to it, but realize if she is a womanizer, she will either break up with him, or when he breaks up with her, guess who can be there for her! YOU! Just don't get to close as it may be mistaken for pure friendship. Experience will help you if, you have any in this kind of area, if not...it will get tricky. Honestly the only thing you can do right now is wait. Then post an update on what's going on and we can try and assist you in this endeavor!

[coredump]

The lesson here is.... taking a 'year or two' is waaaayyyy too long. You shouldn't give up, but don't wait either.

Go find someone else to hang out with, and this time ask her out sooner, much sooner. If she says no, it means you can move onto the next one.

[wormwood]

If the guy is such a prick, why not just ask the girl out.
You don't owe him any kind of space to pursue this.

Normally I don't advocate interposing oneself in someone elses relationship, but it may just be for the best in this case.

[zombiedalmations]

Oct 26, 2010 18:37:09 GMT coredump said:

The lesson here is.... taking a 'year or two' is waaaayyyy too long. You shouldn't give up, but don't wait either.

Go find someone else to hang out with, and this time ask her out sooner, much sooner. If she says no, it means you can move onto the next one.

no don't do that. i did that. i regret that. that's how you'd turn into the guy who took your friend.

[ninjadude]

Oct 26, 2010 17:45:50 GMT zombiedalmations said:

something i've learned is to never like a girl because you need love. like a girl because you legitimately care about her. Basically, do it for her, not you. The situation's not about you, it's about her, and if she's happy, it's good, if she gets her heart broken, help her be happy again. but never ever ever give up on something as precious as love.

That's the thing, I genuinely cared for her. She's the most beautiful creature I've seen, she smart, she's got a really good sense of humor (or a really bad one, she laugh at all my jokes) and I'm pretty sure I was seeing signs of mutual interest. But I guess I just waited, as coredump says, waaaaaay too long. If the situation changes I'll notify you guys, but who knows...

[Psychichobo]

Listen to Coredump and Zombiedalmations.

What they said's pretty much everything I was going to say.

[hivefleetcollossus]

Following around like a puppy dog does not a turn on make. The less attention you give her, if she really does like you, will only fuel her fondness for you. Absence makes the heart grow stronger. Then again, if it's been two years I'm sure she would've dropped a hint or two. The thing you have to remember is, and I think all woman know/use this- the less a woman puts out, the more attention you'll give her. I think, and this is just based on random guessing, you are trying to get comfortable talking to girls. Well talk to many. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. For all you know you could have never been your friends type in the first place. As for getting laid, have you tried being a womanizer?

[Loplod]

So much beta..

Walk up the to the guy
Knock him out
Tell the girl how you feel
? ? ?
Profit!

[Cedonuli]

Coredump has already said it, but waiting that long for a girl is far too long. If they liked you, then you've given them time to question if you like them and also you become JUST friends. My suggestion is, be a friend to this girl if the guy turns out to be a jerk than console her. Don't try to start something up with her at that point. Maybe you can take the plunge when you know she's over him.

But for now, take this as a life lesson. Look around for other girls (there's plenty fyi). If you like a girl introduce yourself, let her know you aren't some creeper, but ask her out ASAP. From my own experience, most girls (at least the ones you would want to keep) don't care if you come across as a complete idiot at first for trying to ask them out. The important thing is that you've done so.

The girl I'm dating right now, when I asked her out I made such a mess... I dropped an ice cube down my shirt, babbled on for a bit about things I liked about her and in the even forgot to ask her out for dinner.... but she knew I liked her and wanted to date her. I've been with her for 2 years now, and the only reason why we're both not planning on getting married anytime soon is because we're both finishing our undergrad and want to go through postgrad studies first but we're serious enough that both sets of parents know marriage is our end goal in this relationship and treat us as if we're engaged.

[ninjadude]

Oct 29, 2010 5:11:15 GMT Loplod said:

So much beta..

Walk up the to the guy
Knock him out
Tell the girl how you feel
? ? ?
Profit!

Don't tempt me :/

[mina]

I definetly suggest being friends with the girl in question, most girls want to share interests with a guy. (for example I cannot imagine dating someone who doesn't like gaming because how would I talk to them?) Only thing is, don't get stuck in the friend zone, and don't try and be a rebound. Just be a really good friend and hope she notices and rhinks, " Wow now this is a guy I should date." Then Profit.

DO NOT TRY THE KNOCK OUT PLAN! We girls are very protective of the things we love right down to our teddybears and Tyranids. ( I seriously threatned some idiot guy with having his face kicked in when he picked up my Hive Tyrant and made a throwing motion. He was like 5 times my size, I didn't like his attitude, and none of that would have stopped me from breaking him over my beloved Spotty the Tyrant. )

[ninjadude]

Thanks for the advice guys (and gal). I kid about the knockout plan .... Unless he breaks her heart.