Begining of the End...

[Father Nurgle]

This is a medium length story that sets the back round for my necron army, their planet, and their awakening. the story follows the Space marine Donathan Grey, on the volcanic planet of Fatarn 3, heavy laden with ash lava and sulfur clouds. Donathan is part of the 8th company assault squad 3 of the Black swords Space marine chapter.
(i have no where else where to post this and i pretty sure you would want to read something good next to your roleplaying)
Here it goes...

Donathan Grey wished he could feel the wind against his face. The feeling of freedom that was granted whilst falling 1000 feet from the sky. But his helmet rendered this impossible. a sad expression was made under the expressionless helmet...
The briefing before the drop advised Donathan to keep his helmet on, sulfuric acid's and ash clouds would be too much, even for a space marine. The mission Squad Dawn was called for was to be up in a reserve thunderhawk high in the sky and to wait for the call for reinforcements. Now orders came from Captain David to strike at a heavy weapons team of the enemy, Havocs, they were called. Traitorous forces were at work. A renegade chapter Known and called Hakanor's Reavers attacked and gained a foothold on the Northern hemisphere of the planet. Decimating smaller city populations and research colonies. Now they had begun to take Southern Hemisphere cities and land. Patterns in their attacks have shown a warpath down to the planets capital and space port, The Hammer. The Black Swords had something different to say about this.
"impact in 10 seconds!" The vox rang loud in his ear's as sergeant Dawn's Stern voice rang louder than the wind. Donathan watched as his Sargent's red helmet disappeared in the dark grey ash cloud. only 2 seconds past and know the battle field was seen in full. Rolling hill, volcanoes in the distance churning smoke as if there was a forge under their rocky caps. The ground below them was blasted and on some spots, running with fresh lava from the hot lava geysers. "brace!" Dawn's voice said. Quickly Donathan's Jump pack kicked in and caught him 7 feet from the ground. his suit held off most of the G's he would have suffered making this drop almost routine.
Once Donathan's feet touched ground he pulled the loading device on his bolt pistol and looked for a target, but found none. "Sargent Dawn! where are the Havocs?" Farden called off to his Sargent not to far by. "Must have been an off target drop. don't worry, we'll find them." The sargents voice wasn't worried at all. All of his years in the Chapter has made him a highly respected veteran. He wielded his powerfist and stormshield with such pride and never faltered. an example o all the initiates who aspired to become an assault marine. Heavy auto cannon shots interrupted the search as large orange red heavy caliber shots flew above the marine's heads. "ah, see, they are there" Dawn said with a calm tone.
The marines began to run, as large and bulky as they were, the squad ran fluently. kicking up red dust as they charged up the hill. FatarnIII's Surface is covered in reddish dust that was made from a mix of Sulfuric acid and volcanic ash. painful to bare skin's touch, but harmless to other materials. Fatarn III itself was a large Death world that had some research outposts and a few cities here and there. the thing that keep this rock in the imperial eyes is that it has an abundance of mining resources. Making it a valuable space port. Not much History has been dug up from Fatarn III also. only old records saying that this planet has been passed by. By some eldar craftworlds. no attacks though...
"Jump packs! now!" Dawn yelled as he was the first to pass the hill top. 6 other jump pack boosts signaled after the sargent's initial jump.The whir of chainswords could barely be heard over the blasts of jet fuel from the Assault jump. within seconds the 7 assault marines were striking down upon the Havocs of the Hakanor's Reavers. More than half of the ten Havocs were knocked to their feet by furious cuts and bashes that came with the attacks. The Reavers though were quick and back up on their feet with blades drawn in seconds. Donathan's bolt pistol coughed out shots and the furthest Havoc, the slowest to recover, they seemed to harmlessly ping off the power armour. A Havoc made to strike out at Donathan. Donathan parried the blow, sending sparks as he slapped the chaos renegade in the helmet, hard enough to knock him side ways. Donathan bought up his Chainsword up from his right hand (he swings with his right hand, and shoots with his left) the teeth of the blade tore and cleared way through power armour and corrupted flesh, cutting the havoc in 2 with a confirming crimson spray. by the time Donathan was finished pulling his Chainsword out of the ruined corpse he had taken note of what was left, 4 more Havocs to go (sargent included) with no casualties. "To victory!" Yelled Cain, an Assault marine that wielded a flamer. he was burning the corrupted remains of a havoc when a havoc beside him took up a bolter and fired it. By misfortune the shots fired hit the promethium container and it exploded in a hot flash. Cain's body and armour was seared and burnt beyond saving. spoken too soon... Thought Donathan.
"finish them!" Dawn yelled as he parried a powerfist from the Havoc aspiring champion. he reacted with an upper cut with his powerfist knocking the Champion's head clean off, leaving the body to slump down. In victory Dawn held up hi fist in triumph and glorified the emperor with it. A cheer from the remaining 5 Marines signaled a successful assault. But all too soon was the sound drowned out by the loud stinging sound of more jet packs. "Dawn, raptors are being spotted heading towards your position." a chapter serf at the command center voxed in. "Marines! Counter charge!" Dawn yelled after a moments pause waiting for the sound of the chaos raptors was evident...

(tell me how this is and if you feel like i need it give me feed back and tips thanks)

[chaoticlynxmaster]

hi you know me and i don't make good stories on here i type books and this is a good beginning! first thing that stands out to me was when you told me that he shot with his left in "()", well don't put that show us shooting with his left kill the raptors and chopping off heads with his right. then, also add a bit ore detail i wanted to know how that head looked on the ground or what his face look under his helmet not just what he feeling but what it looks like. lastly you spelled sargent wrong its Sergeant. other that that it was really good.

[Esiphas]

thats a really good story. the few errors are purely spelling, and the things Chaoticlynxmaster pointed out are basically all i have to say, apart from, you missed an 'S' in his.

[Father Nurgle]

alrite, day 2, thx for the comments and about the sergeant-sargent thing, they look the same, and at 9:00 o'clock sound the same lol. and then thanks for the spell check. i try to do my best. now, let us see what happens with the raptors...

Dawn had ordered Donathan to stand ground mode, to fire his pistol and wait for the 'charge' signal. Over the sound of Donathan's bolt pistol the screech of the chaos jump packs could be heard getting louder as they neared. The 8 Raptors were soon were close enough for a non-bionic eye to see their features. Night black armour with cracks of lava shifting and moving around it. a silver trim was lined across their shoulder pads. Their chainswords were whirring with uncontrolled fury, ignoring the explosive bolt pistol shells pinging harmlessly off their armor.
"jet packs! Now!" Dawn yelled through the vox. In seconds, and in unison, the Assault marines' jet packs kicked on at one, throwing 6 on 8 head on. The Black Swords marines had already put up their chainswords in anticipation of the attack. and now with seconds to react, the chaos raptors could only reach forwards to stop the incoming marine mass. The counter charge had caught the Raptors on by surprise. Their movements indicated it, Flustered hasty movements. Stopping motions. all for one though, Donathan was lined up perfectly with this one. His face was pale, and ruined, eyes, green with lust for powers. his teeth were jagged and serrated. his bald head had pressed in runes and symbols. the very essence of this Traitor spat 'Champion'. The Aspiring champion had an ornate looking plasma pistol in his right hand. Probably stolen from an important kill. in his left, a dangerous power axe, that glowed red. blood red, the red glow pulsated as if it was pumping blood thorugh itself. like it was alive...
This one deserved death! Thought Donathan as he was only inches from the champion. Donathan lowered his body and leaned his left shoulder in more than the right. The heavily armored left shoulder of Donathan slammed into the still charging Champion and knocked the air out of the Champion. From looking up Donathan could see a grimace of pain as the breath was unexpected. Though he tried, Donathan attempted to bring his chainsword across the Champion's body, but just as quickly as he had lost his breath, the Chaos Champion grasped onto Donathan, denying the death dealing blow. Donathan had to do something, the champion still had a free hand, a plasma pistol. As the Champion bought up the pistol to Donathan's back, Donathan quickly pushed out his back, shifting the jet pack down slamming into The champion's face. the move sent the two down to the ground (which they were feet way from) plowing a path as they hit it hard...
The momentum of the landing kept the Champion and Donathan rolling for a few long yards. In that time the warriors fought for the advantage that wouldn't come. Upon landing they separated and both had rolled to their feet, still combat frenzied. Donathan bought up his bolt pistol and fired at the charging Champion, blasting at the old corrupted armour. sending chunks of armor and flesh in each shot. When the Champion couldn't take the shots anymore, he dived at Donathan with room to spare. this Donathan took advantage of and side stepped, with his chainsword extended in his place, whirring in wait. The champion had little time to react. rolling into a ball to save his life. This did, but at a cost. the blade severed the jet pack on the Champion from his back. exposing dead and decaying skin underneath. The champion turned his head in anger at the cheap move, He back flipped to a position in front of Donathan and did a crashing strike at him. Narrowly dodging the attack Donathan swiped his Chainsword at the warrior. That was now gone. Where the champion should have been he wasn't. Donathan stopped and glanced around, confused.
"where the..." He managed before the warrior of chaos pounced on his back. Out of instinct Donathan jetting up with his jet pack. searing the armor of the Chaos warrior, but not stopping him. The champion of Chaos bought his poweraxe down on Donathan and by chance, the power axe was stopped at the point in the Assault marines jet pack, mere inches away from Donathan's head. At that attack the jet pack sputtered and began a 100 foot free fall for the 2 warriors. Donathan felt the Champion's grip loosen on his back. Donathan flipped around and grasp the Champion by the neck. The obvious rage and confusion was laden on the Champions face as he was flipped towards the ground with a chainsword to his stomach. "The powers of Chaos take you!!!" He spat out as he was paralyzed from the height the reached. The 1 ton of warrior mass, muscle, and armour collided with the ground with a loud crunch. The whir of a chainsword was heard as after the initial slam, Donathan's Chainsword dug into the Chaos Champion abdomen, killing the warrior beneath it...
"by the emperor!" he lives!" The vox on Donathan's beaten up helmet blared. "dawn! he beat the Champion!" Yelled Fatarn. Donathan peered over the crater and saw Fatarn, followed by Rafael, Lukas, and Red. Dawn jumped over to their position shortly afterward. "how did you do that brother?" Inquired Lukas, amazed at the victory. "guidance, my brother, the emperor's!" Bellowed Donathan. The others cheered happily before Dawn arrived. "brothers, great new, the Chaos attack is fended off!" Cheered Dawn in a victorious tone. "our kill of the auto cannons allowed out the land speeder's to cut down the enemy, turns out they did not have anything to counter our armour other than that!" The Group let out praise to the emperor. "but our task is not done yet, reports are coming in of a mass of Chaos cowards regrouping, a large mass of them not too far from here, Command has ordered us back to the thunderhawk to drop in and eliminate them. scout bikes confirm presence of a chaos lord of some sort. only 2 returned though from the expedition..." Dawn's voice grew somber. "But!" he said "we take this victory for the next!" The roar made the other marines cheer in unison. "Thunderhawk 6, pick us up." Dawn called in the vox. "And Donathan, expect to be fitted with new armour, and maybe a new pistol if you want. Sergeant Valkis was slain by the auto cannon fire. the Company says they owe this one to you for his revenge. Donathan could do nothing more but to let the smile he had hid slide across his face...

(hope the fight was better this time. might b long, but it was fun! comment and tips! thanks!)

[Father Nurgle]

(I'm gonna consider this halfway done. it's looking good and i'm gonna hit this one hard.)

Donathan Boarded the Thunderhawk. Its black and silver trimmed corners were stainless in the gaseous atmosphere. The sounds of gun fire could be heard exchanging as the Hakanor's Reavers were in full retreat. Donathan surrendered himself to the Company Techmarine. The silver Mechadendrite arms went to work with replacing and tinkering. He replaced the dented Black power armor with a new polished looking power armor, shining in the dim sunlight the planet's atmosphere allowed through. Your pistol. "said Lucien the Techmarine. Held by one of his mechadendrite arms was an old, sacred, and honored plasma pistol. glowing in prepared wait for battle. "He might want his avenger to have this." Lucion spoke with a rasp as he was becoming one with the machines around him. Donathan though paid him little attention. The plasma pistol was more attractive. Covered in 2 purity seals the pistol seemed to belong to Donathan like a long lost friend.
"Donathan, i hope your done rearming. The counter attack is beginning, we are joining up with 5 of the other Assault marines who survived the deep strike attack... or i should say, you are..." Dawn's voice trailed. "What do you mean Brother Sergeant Dawn?" Questioned Donathan. "my duties lie else were. i am being called to the Captains command squad as one of his command squad." Dawn started."He told me to pass down leadership to a brother who knows the strains of Leadership in battle. An example to the other marines..." Dawn turned to face Donathan. "so i have chosen you. Today on the battle field, when you fought that Champion, i saw a light in your eyes that reminded me of The true meaning of An angel of death. so i bestow upon you this. to prove your command in my squad..." Dawn asks Lucion to take off the powerfist on his arm. Lucion did so and In that time Donathan could see the somber looks on the Sergeant and the techmarine. One, old and rugged, prepared for what ever could be thrown at him; the other, near the same age, isolated, and integrated. The fist was unattached and Lucion walked to Donathan, who raised his hand forth without even realizing it. "may it serve you well." Dawn said over the sounds of whirring mechadendrite arms. "But what of you?" Donathan asked. "i have a thunder hammer with my name on it. they said they'll allow use of it..." Dawn turned back towards the outside of the Command rhino. "i shall see you on the Battle Field..." He paused. A click hummed on the power generators of the powerfist. "Sergeant..."
The Thunderhawk gave Donathan a familiar feeling. Preparing for battle. Usually about now Dawn would begin a sort of a pep talk. But there was an aura of tension growing, Donathan could see it on the Assault marines faces. 5 of whom Donathan had worked with, and 5 that had belonged with the late Sergeant Valkis. either way, they had something in common; they had both lost their sergeant. "alright, under new leadership Marines. but that doesn't mean that what is expected of you is lessened. we mus-" Donathan began. "we must what? you aren't like Valkis or Dawn. you can't do the things what they could!" One of the newer marines broke out. "but the only one alive chose the best for the job." Donathan was confused at the out break. "3 minutes until drop zone!" a chapter serf walked in awkwardly. The rest of the time the Thunderhawk was quiet. not a word spoken, save the prayer each Marine mumbled...
"30 seconds!" The serf was clinging to a handle bar as the back of the Thunderhawk opened up like a yawning beast. "For the emperor!" Yelled Donathan as they squad slowly followed behind him in a somber motion. the free fall on the way down was exhilarating, this was Donathan's favorite place now. in peace by becoming one with the sky, relaxing as gravity takes over. The black cloud of ash that nearly constantly covered the lower atmosphere of the planet was now coming up. Donathan closed his eyes and waited to hear gun fire. the signal came, a lascannon and an explosion. "jet packs!" yelled Donathan. Acknowledgment runes indicated the received order. from the shy, black clad angels swooped from the hope sapping black ash clouds bringing death with them. Impact was sudden, quicker than supposed to be. but right were the homer beacon had told Donathan to land. "for The Emperor!" He yelled charging forwards. accidentally meeting a squad of mutated evil and demonically possessed marines. their faces were swirled into a mass of flesh. Crude but deadly claws and spikes protruded from their hands. or where their hands were supposed to be. Flesh melded with power armour for some of those possessed. Without hesitation the Possessed charged forth, their speed blindingly fast. "by his name!" Donathan found himself yelling, powerfist humming heavily...

(not as much as i wanted to type, ran outta time tonight. comment and tips would help! thanks)

[Esiphas]

ok, this is getting really good, i might post my own fantasy story here. its prety good. i am looking forward to the final part, but i have one question. how does this set a background for a NECRON army? all i have seen are chaos.

[chaoticlynxmaster]

i have seen that too